I have suffered from depression since I was at least 15 years old. Treatments have really changed since that time. Have had periods of great relief and then periods of its return, sometimes with avengance. A couple of years ago it reared its ugly head once again. Meds would work fine for awhile and then something happened in my life my emotions would fall. Doc would increase dose then add a new med. Finally nothing was helping me feel as good as I once remember feeling.
Read in the newspaper about a drug study and thought maybe that would kill two birds with one stone, help with cost of meds and find something that worked. Was not accepted into first study but was accepted into next study. This past week I had to wean, rather quickly, off my current meds. Friday was the day to start new ones and I actually felt really well. Nurse thought it was just anticipation so continued with starting new drugs. Well I thought I was going to die or at least kill myself Saturday! It was a combo of feeling like I downed several gallons of Starbucks (and I don't even drink coffee) and just coming out of anthesthesia! I couldn't tell if I was really shaking or just on the inside but I also felt sort of numb and dazed at the same time.
I have decided to withdraw from the drug study, stop taking any of the meds and see how I feel over time. Have come to find out that one of the meds I was taking has a great chance to cause weight gain. So was it really emotional eating that caused the gain or this drug? I just hope I can feel optimistic about life and able to handle what comes my way without any of these meds!
9/7/10: Feeling down today. How do I tell if it is my need for meds or just my reaction to our situation?
